The Nuisance
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: The Pines twins' longtime foe makes yet another reappearance in another attempt to get the vengeance that's been eluding him for well over a decade. (Future-Pines)


'Nother -Future Pines story coming at you. This is one I've been playing with on and off for a while until I got it read. Enjoy, and review if you so please! - **SGA **

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"...Hello?" The young woman called. The was a shrill metallic clang as she knocked on the old trailer home. "Helloooo?"

Her twin brother stood a few feet back and warily he cast a look around. Not only did the ramshackle structure make him suspicious, but the dilapidated mailbox and waist-high grass covering the lawn gave him serious pause too. "You sure that we have the right place? It doesn't really look like anyone lives here."

"Yeah, one million percent positive!" Mabel kept on rapping on the door. "Hello? Hellooooo! This is Mabel! Mabel Pines? You called just an hour ago, remember? You said you found my wallet! Hello? Hellooooooo! Anyone home?"

No answer. The twenty-six-year-old huffed as she marched back to her twin. "What gives? He told me on the phone said that he-"

There was a loud twang. In the blink of an eye both siblings were dangling high in the air, caught fast in the confines of a well-disguised net trap. Once he recovered from his initial shock, Dipper simply let out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, what now?" he demanded. These summer trips up north to Oregon were always full of surprises, and unfortunately for them it usually didn't tend to be the pleasant kind. As the siblings tried to untangle themselves from one another, a shrill giggle rang out.

"Why, Dipper and Mabel Pines! Fancy seeing the two of you here." Their pudgy captor stepped from behind a few bushes and greeted them in a dreadfully familiar drawl. The fair-skinned young man took a moment to touch up his meticulously waved hair, straighten out his pressed suit, then flash them a smile that stretched from ear to ear. His icy blue eyes twinkled brilliantly with delight as he gazed upon his prisoners.

Even though they were at the mercy of an old foe, the twins weren't scared. The two frankly were more exasperated above all else as they collectively realized Mabel's wallet hadn't been lost; it had been stolen.

"Oh not you again!" She groaned to the high heavens.

"Looks like it. Didn't I tell you two that you haven't seen the last of lil' ol' me?" Gideon Gleeful tittered.

"Probably." Dipper sighed, recalling their harrowing brush with him the year before. "You say that every single time."

"What do you want now?" Mabel grumbled impatiently. The last several years had seen plenty of run-ins with their old nemesis, which was quite the shame. Even one encounter with the psychotic young man even once was oen far, far too many.

"Oh come now Mabel, I'm just doing like I promised." He played innocent, taking out her missing wallet and dropping it to the ground beneath the trapped siblings. "Now what makes you think I'm going to try anything sly with you two?"

"...I can think of at least a couple things." Dipper deadpanned.

"Oh, don't neither of you fret. You'll be just fine." Gideon explained while distractedly looking over his manicured nails. His smile then gained a cruel twist. "But I can't say the same for the rest of your clan."

Yet another one of those grating high-pitched giggles rang out, this time so loudly that both the captive twins winced. The former child star couldn't help himself. After countless humiliations and failed plans, sweet revenge would finally be his.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Mabel glared at him suspiciously. This wasn't like his usual monologues.

"In case you've forgotten, things are a little different now." He sneered, once again jumping back and forth between unsettlingly charming and menacing. "You two went ahead and made your family a little bigger in the past year. So unless I'm mistaken, y'all got some extra...oh, let's call 'em liabilities, shall we?"

His fiendish grin stretched wider and wider across his chubby face. Slowly he paced around the dangling siblings, relishing their helplessness for all it was worth. He came to a stop in front of Dipper and giggled

"Dipper Pines, you really snagged yourself quite the beautiful bride, didn't you boy? That redhead gal's definitely something, I'll give you that. Too bad you'll be having to hit the dating scene again soon.

Gideon moved onto the next twin, and his tone softened affectionately. "Ah, and Mabel. My dear, sweet Mabel-"

"Eat fist, creep!" She stuck out a hand and attempted to swat him.

"This last year's been mighty big for you too." He smilingly carried on. "My my, just where do I begin with those little dumplings of yours? A twin bein' a momma to her own twins! Why, I don't believe I've ever seen anything so precious in my whole life! It's just like you went ahead and made two little doubles of yourself. Ahhhh, well ain't you blessed? I'll admit, it was a shame to hear about how their daddy ran out and left you all alone, but it seems like you've been doing pretty well on your own."

At this point he started his exit, backing out step by slow step. "I just hope you've both been taking lots of pictures of you and your tykes. You're gonna need 'em if you're gonna want to remember the way things used to be before today."

He still hadn't quite chilled the bloods in the twins veins, or even made their hearts skip so much as a beat. Mabel merely rolled her eyes at his threats.

"What does that even mean?"

Gideon sniggered maliciously. The poor fools. They couldn't even begin to conceive of the nightmare that was in store for them.

"Did you really think that they'd all be safe from the likes of me?" He giggled. "Well too bad. You better prepare yourselves…."

Right before he backed out behind the abandoned trailer, he end off with the last line that he had rehearsed so carefully the night before. "I'm hitting you where it hurts, Pines. Today, revenge is finally mine!"

One more high-pitched laugh assaulted their ears. Seconds later he reappeared seated on the back of an electric scooter, and his shrill boyish laughter quickly grew faint as he motored off down the forested road.

In spite of the threats that had just been levied against their family, Dipper wasn't exactly panicking. Mabel meanwhile didn't look anywhere near ready to burst out sobbing with fear. Both siblings just one other incredulous stares.

"Seriously?" The young man grumbled. "Did that really just happen?"

"He is the worst." Mabel fumed. "The worst!"

"I know. He just…." Dipper shook the head. These run-ins with their longtime foe were always such a pain to deal with. "You got-"

"Yup! On it!" Mabel was already reaching under a sweater sleeve for her emergency knitting kit. Over the years she had gotten skilled at adapting her needles to a wide variety of circumstances, from battles with angry chimeras, level 3 hauntings, and the occasional traps like this. As the net rocked back and forth, Dipper used his shoulder to give her some much needed support.

"Can you reach it?" He bit his teeth as her sneaker dug into him. His twin nodded while she slipped the needle into the gigantic knot holding everything together.

"Yeah, just got to get under the know….okay, now a little twist to the left…..some pressure from below...little turn to the right….repeat….repeeeaaaat, aaand….a one and a two and a here we go!"

The net promptly collapsed to the forest floor. While they disentangled themselves, neither one seemed to be in any kind of rush whatsoever to get going.

"So, you want to head right back to the Shack?" Dipper asked.

"Can we grab some lunch first?" She said hopefully. "I'm hungry."

"Me too, actually." He admitted. Together the two back to his car at a leisurely saunter.

"Burritos!" Mabel decided on their next meal with an excited cheer. "With extra cheese and sour cream!"

Twenty minutes later they were pulling up to the ramshackle Mystery Shack with a big greasy bag sitting between them. Just as they had expected, not a thing appeared out of place in spite of the earlier warnings of life-altering tragedy. Mabel clambered out of the car and immediately noticed the sweet sight that greeted them.

"_Awww_!" She managed to gush around a half-finished mouthful of shredded chicken, beans and sour cream. A lanky redhead rocked back and forth in a hammock with two six-month-old infants napping. As she rocked back and forth in the summer breeze, Wendy cracked an eye open and noted the older siblings.

"Hey." She greeted lazily.

"Hey, Wen-Wen!" Mabel bounced over.

"Hey there." Dipper gave her a quick peck on the forehead.

"So, got the wallet?" The redhead yawned. Her sister-in-law nodded and whooped.

"Yup! Success!"

"You guys took longer to get back than I thought." Wendy observed with a knowing grin.

"Yeah, we ran into some trouble." Dipper calmly understated.

"So I've heard." As she stretched out, Mabel meanwhile leaned over and beamed at her peacefully dozing tots.

"Hello my babies!" She sang softly to them. "Hi Finn! Hi Gladys! Did you give your Auntie Wendy any troubles?"

"Nah, they're good. We've just been chillin' out here-"

One end of the hammock started sagging. The makeshift "post" standing by Wendy's feet had let his grip slip. In the blink of an eye she reached to the ground, plucked up her hatchet and raised it threateningly.

"Do that again, and you're leaving here bald." The dutiful aunt warned. A bruised and battered Gideon hurriedly pulled the hammock back up to even height.

"S-sorry." He sniveled. His eyes glanced up to the stump of his formerly magnificent wave, reduced to a mere flat-top from one clean swipe. "Sorry-"

"I didn't say you could talk." She reminded him sharply. In a flash he zipped up and tightened his grip on the hammock. Wendy put down her weapon, made sure her niece and nephew were still napping peacefully, then lazed back.

"You get me any grub too?" She smilingly eyed the greasy white bag.

"Hope you like tacos!" Mabel chirped.

"You know I do. Trade?"

"Trade!" The bubbly brunette swallowed down the rest of her lunch before swapping with her tough-as-nails sister-in-law. Wendy passed a napping infant to Mabel's arms, freeing a hand up for her treat. Dipper meanwhile looked on in amazement at the pitiful sight their whimpering nemesis now cut. Gideon whimpered and trembled, but remained obediently in place.

"Man. He's just really not thinking these plans through at all anymore, is he?"

"Nope!" Mabel chirped matter-of-factly. As she cuddled her daughter, the young mother added with a wickedly delighted smile, "But at least it makes for pretty good entertainment…."


End file.
